Comments on: ‘De facto’ parent’s visitation on trial http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/ Blog Wed, 3 Dec 2008 23:46:22 +0000 http://attorneysonlineinc.com/?v=2.0 by: Sally O'Malley http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-106478 Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:27:27 +0000 http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-106478 Best interest of the child? Visitation in order to keep a relationship with the child - yes. Legal rights to make decisions equal to a parent when there is no adoption to legal evidence - absolutely not! States should not take parenting rights away from the legal parent. I'm straight and fought a long hard custody battle that damaged my child not to mention spending their college funds on legal expenses. Why put a child through all that - visitation should be enough for the other party. Best interest of the child? Visitation in order to keep a relationship with the child - yes. Legal rights to make decisions equal to a parent when there is no adoption to legal evidence - absolutely not! States should not take parenting rights away from the legal parent. I’m straight and fought a long hard custody battle that damaged my child not to mention spending their college funds on legal expenses. Why put a child through all that - visitation should be enough for the other party.

]]> by: Lora http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-102168 Thu, 10 Jan 2008 06:05:40 +0000 http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-102168 I agree with DOD in Washington. This issue affects everyone, especially Baby Boomers who eventually will need caregiving assistance that may not necessarily come from a family member. I was caregiver to an elderly man who was like my father, but not a blood relative. His children were out of state and had not been involved in his care for over five years. Because I was not a relative, even though I was his Patient Advocate, the hospital staff during his last illness would not communicate with me. (His doctor was out of town.) He died of a drug overdose from a medication which, after I found out had been given to him, I knew would cause him harm. Had I known it was going to be given to him, I would never have allowed it. I was his de facto daughter and could have and should have been allowed to protect him, but I couldn't do a thing but stand by and watch him die. I will never get over the grief or the guilt of having put him in that hospital, even though everyone tells me his death wasn't my fault. I agree with DOD in Washington. This issue affects everyone, especially Baby Boomers who eventually will need caregiving assistance that may not necessarily come from a family member. I was caregiver to an elderly man who was like my father, but not a blood relative. His children were out of state and had not been involved in his care for over five years. Because I was not a relative, even though I was his Patient Advocate, the hospital staff during his last illness would not communicate with me. (His doctor was out of town.) He died of a drug overdose from a medication which, after I found out had been given to him, I knew would cause him harm. Had I known it was going to be given to him, I would never have allowed it. I was his de facto daughter and could have and should have been allowed to protect him, but I couldn’t do a thing but stand by and watch him die. I will never get over the grief or the guilt of having put him in that hospital, even though everyone tells me his death wasn’t my fault.

]]> by: Margret http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-26860 Tue, 10 Jul 2007 03:51:01 +0000 http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-26860 I'm a biological parent in Virginia. My ex-partner and I did everything we could do legally in Va. to bond us as we planned for child birth. We even changed our last names to we could be a family. We were together almost nine years. We have a forunate situation because we base decisions on the childs needs. I'm lucky (even in Va) but so glad I don't live in Maryland. There are many cases that grant a de facto parent that simply protects the other party and not the child. Imagine if you were the bio-parent and the other party did not have documents, wills, power of attorney, name changes, etc to prove intent. You the bio-parent ended the relationship because the other party had out of control drug and gambling issues, was not financially responsible and showed no interest in your child. That other party can be granted a de facto parent status and has to meet very little criteria. Now the person you didn't want around your child has rights to go in the opposite direction as you on all parenting issues. Having a relationship with the child is one thing but being granted a parental status is not in the best interest of the child unless they can prove legal intent. I’m a biological parent in Virginia. My ex-partner and I did everything we could do legally in Va. to bond us as we planned for child birth. We even changed our last names to we could be a family. We were together almost nine years. We have a forunate situation because we base decisions on the childs needs. I’m lucky (even in Va) but so glad I don’t live in Maryland. There are many cases that grant a de facto parent that simply protects the other party and not the child. Imagine if you were the bio-parent and the other party did not have documents, wills, power of attorney, name changes, etc to prove intent. You the bio-parent ended the relationship because the other party had out of control drug and gambling issues, was not financially responsible and showed no interest in your child. That other party can be granted a de facto parent status and has to meet very little criteria. Now the person you didn’t want around your child has rights to go in the opposite direction as you on all parenting issues. Having a relationship with the child is one thing but being granted a parental status is not in the best interest of the child unless they can prove legal intent.

]]> by: DOD - Dad on Duty in Washington State http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-20400 Sun, 10 Jun 2007 01:28:34 +0000 http://www.surrogacyissuesblog.com/2007/05/30/de-facto-parents-visitation-on-trial/#comment-20400 This does not only affect gay and Lesbians. This affects us all whether we are step parents, garandparents, gardians or just acting as long term supporting dedicated parents. One would always wish to respect the biological bond with any parent. However one must ask themselves, does the best intrest of the child outweigh genetics. Many would say strong and loud,YES! It takes a life commitment to be a loving and supportive de facto parent. The laws should be changed to better define this crucial point for our childrens sake! Strong Supporter! DOD - Dad on Duty! (WA State) This does not only affect gay and Lesbians. This affects us all whether we are step parents, garandparents, gardians or just acting as long term supporting dedicated parents.

One would always wish to respect the biological bond with any parent. However one must ask themselves, does the best intrest of the child outweigh genetics. Many would say strong and loud,YES!

It takes a life commitment to be a loving and supportive
de facto parent. The laws should be changed to better define this crucial point for our childrens sake!

Strong Supporter!
DOD - Dad on Duty! (WA State)

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